The End

Graduation was nearly 2 WHOLE MONTHS AGO.

I never really thought about that day ACTUALLY coming. As a kid, I often thought about it as an overly glorified moment when I became a legitimate old person (because anyone over the age of 16 is when they start getting old to a 9 or 10 year old). I would look at the kids in high school, thinking how mature and amazing these teenagers were.

Well, I'm a teenager now. An adult teenager (18yrs). In fact, I'm a graduated senior. An incoming USU freshman. And let me tell you. . . I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. 

Maturity? What even is that? 

Organization? What even is that? 

Plans?

Job?

I don't know. I honestly don't know.

Although I don't know anything about my future (aside from the college I'll be attending and where I will live), I do know that high school has been so good to me.

In high school I learned. Academically, emotionally, physically, mentally. Through all the ups and downs including hard classes, test failures, friendship failures, boy troubles (ugh); acing tests, new friendships, happy memories, heartbreaks, stress, etc, I learned more and more of who I am, and who I want to become.

It has been a difficult road, as everyone's road is. I've learned that it is okay to be happy. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to cry. It's okay to laugh. It's all part of life.

I've learned that it's okay to be who you are. I remember as a 7th grader, I decided I didn't like to read because none of my friends did. I thought it wasn't cool to be a reader, so I didn't read anymore. I hated Star Wars because it was nerdy. I didn't want to be a nerd.

But you know what? Those stereotypes are dumb. Why can't we all just accept one another for the things we enjoy? So what there is a girl who is a fan of the Star Wars movies? So what if she likes to read non-stop alllll summer long (I truly don't like to read during the school year)? I am weird. I'll be the first to admit it. I laugh obnoxiously and make annoying snap videos to send to my sister and my bestie. I say "bestie." I use weird sarcastic voices. I like Harry Potter and Star Wars and Pirates of the Caribbean. And that's okay. Everyone is weird. WE should accept each other, and WE should accept ourselves.

I've learned how to be responsible. I think responsibility is one quality that I can say that I've always had. But high school took that quality and made it into one of my biggest strengths. Homework was such a struggle for me throughout the 4 years. Procrastination was my biggest enemy. It was a constant battle to "remember" to finish my assignment. But because it was a constant battle, I felt the rewarding feeling of getting assignments in, getting good grades, and acing the tests. On the other hand, I also experienced the failure to finish assignments, tasks, projects. I experience test failures (in geometry, I got a 56% on one of the tests; in Honors Geology, I recieved a 13%. I'm gonna just say that failure was a combination of unpreparedness AND difficulty. That class was so hard!)

Extracurricular activities such as basketball manager, football manager, and the yearbook editor taught me responsibility too, but it mainly taught me leadership skills. I learned so much about being a leader in these positions and I am so grateful. I learned who I was as a leader. I learned that it is okay to be bossy (because I am...really bossy) so long as you manage to be a kind bossy. It's hard to do, trust me. I've had more than my share of bossy failures too!

I could go on and on about the things high school taught me, but overall it just made me a better person. A better student; a better daughter; a better sister; a better employee; a better friend.

It's sad that I have completed that time in my life. It really is. People have asked me: "Isn't it so great to be graduated and done with high school?" I always answer with a yes, and no. I am ready to take advantage of this new opportunity to build a new chapter. To live on my own. At the same time, I am SO sad to be leaving home. I've had more than enough panic attacks and meltdowns because I don't feel like I should be doing this already. It's hard to move on.

But life is hard. It can only get harder. And that's scary.
President Gordon B. Hinkley's words bring me so much comfort.

Yes, this is THE END. But it is also the beginning. So here's to another chapter. I'm going to stop worrying because you know what? Life goes on. It'll all work out. In the words of my seminary teacher, Brother Challis, "It'll be okay. It's gonna be okay."