When I was younger, I attended a cancer camp with my siblings for 3 consecutive years. I have such fond memories of camp. I couldn't tell you exactly what events transpired during the time I was there, but I still remember the people and the happiness. The hope. I remember thinking "I want to be a part of this when I'm older!" (You can only attend up to 3 years after chemo therapy. But you can always apply and return as a CIT (Counselor-In-Training, 16yrs - 18yrs) or an adult Counselor.
The catch is: you have to apply to volunteer. The directors obviously want the best possibly candidates for the job to provide the best possibly experience for the kids.
Knowing that I would be up against so many people for the position and knowing that because I was out of state and that I would only be able to do a phone interview and that may or may not determine my acceptance or rejection, I applied anyway. And guess what? I got in!
The camp director remembered me as a camper, or maybe my resume was actually somewhat impressive. Who knows? I do know, however, that I was supposed to be a part of that camp.
I was pretty nervous for camp. I knew absolutely nobody. I really, really had to branch out to meet new people which can be a struggle for me sometimes because I'm a generally reserved person. We attended a staff meeting a few weeks prior to camp to get to know each other and to go over some training and rules. I met a few people there (one was the cabin counselor I would be working with) but I somehow still came out of the meeting completely terrified of the experience. I didn't feel adequate. I wasn't outgoing enough. What if I'm not what the kids needed? What if the staff members I work with don't like me? What if I can never bond with the fellow CIT's?
These were the thoughts weighing on my mind for the next two weeks.
And then the time came. I was at camp (the night before) prepping for the children to arrive. I was still nervous for the next morning. What if I'm left alone with the kids? What do I talk about? I was told I can't talk about my personal life. If they ask me if I have a boyfriend, what do I do? (Thank goodness that subject never came up. Although, I don't even have one so it really wouldn't have been a big deal) I was SO over-thinking it. That was totally proven as soon as the first camper arrived. I was blessed to get the ADORABLE 10-11 year olds. Sweet Emily walked right in and started chatting and chatting and chatting . . . and CHATTING! She didn't even let us talk. It was such a relief! It made things flow so much easier! I instantly felt so at home and so ready to conquer the week. I immediately felt comfortable enough to be my weird self. The rest of the girls showed up and they were all SO excited to be there and so ready to conquer the week too! They were all the sweetest girls. So funny, fun, exciting, animated, positive, outgoing girls. I could not have asked for a better group. I miss them almost every day! That sounds so silly because I only knew them for 5 days. But spending 5 days at a cancer camp as such really opens everyone up. You really get to know everyone on a personal level. I developed a huge love for everyone there.
Many people hear the word "cancer" and "camp" and immediately think "depressing." People would say, "Oh, I don't think I could do that. That sounds so heartbreaking!" Let me be the first to say that is NOT the case. Yes, it was a camp full of cancer patients. Yes, it is really sad to see such young adorable children having to go through so much pain and heartache. Having to take 15 pills in the morning, and 15 pills at night. But because these children have had such sad experiences, that is really what makes it such a happy place. Camp was an opportunity for them to forget about sadness. Forget about reality. Just have fun with friends and their siblings! The kids have so much maturity and love for each other because they were all going through the same thing.
Not only was it the similarity in experiences that made it so touching and happy, it's the activities and love the staff gave out to all the campers. I would look around at campfire when everyone is being absolutely ridiculous singing "Princess Pat" at the top of their lungs, or watching the leaders and campers perform skits for the whole camp and just see love. It was so amazing to see how much love, kindness, and selflessness that all members of camp exhibited. To look around and see how many GOOD people there really is in this world. So much of the news, social media, and people focus on every negative aspect of this world. I don't believe that. I don't believe that this world is cruel and evil. I don't believe that all there is is negativity. Not after camp. This camp goes on EVERY year. Over 100 volunteers PER camp (there are three). That is so much good! In just one area. I was so overwhelmed every night at my love for the campers, my love for the staff members, and the pure joy that this camp brings that I was nearly in tears. Truly. It touched my heart.
I gained a new perspective that week as I was able to let go of insecurities and be in the moment. I made a commitment to myself that I would forget myself and serve. I wanted to be the best possible leader for these girls. I made a complete fool of myself every minute of the day. I was overly enthusiastic, obnoxious, loud, and weird. And you know what? Kids LOVE that! They are all those things too. I sang so loud and danced so weird; I got chocolate pudding dumped ALLLL over me (hair, nostrils, ears, mouth, face, shirt) and I worked at the dunk tank during the Carnival.
One of the things we as CIT's focused on was becoming a leader. Our director really tried to give us opportunities to develop leadership skills and qualities. Before camp, whenever I thought about being a leader, my mind immediately jumped to the words "boss," "taking control," "direct," "delegation," "management," etc. After camp, I came to the conclusion that it is so much more than taking control.
Being a leader is being an example.
Being a leader is being kind.
Being a leader is loving all.
Being a leader is serving others.
And above all, being a leader is being selfless.
I learned selflessness in those 5 days. I'm still learning selflessness. Camp made me forget about myself. I didn't think about home. I didn't think about my family, my best friend, my "latest crush," Instagram, clothes, etc. I didn't care about what I looked like. I knew I looked completely ridiculous, but I didn't care. Everyone at camp looked ridiculous. I realized that I wasn't there for myself. I wasn't there to meet boys; make new friends. I was there for the kids! I was there to make them happy. I was there to bring smiles to their faces and happiness into their lives. Realizing that was the best possible thing for me. Because I realized this and dedicated myself, I was SO happy. Serving others is truly the best way to make yourself happy. I cannot even express how happy it made me feel; how happy I still feel because of it. Even just writing this makes me tear up. I honestly cannot say enough good things about camp. This experience is so tender and near to my heart. I will never forget it.
Due to privacy rights and camp regulations, I cannot post pictures (bummer) or give the name of the camp online. However, if you are interested in having a similar experience, contact me and I will give you details (camp name, location, website, where to apply).
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